Title: Is Leadership Coaching Right For You? Featuring Anne Garing
Guest: Anne Garing
Anne: One of the things is that coaching is really not about giving advice and I know you can attest to this. Oh yeah, It’s for really a vehicle for helping the clients hear themselves. Yeah. And as they listen to themselves, they become clear about what they want. They become clear about what they’re confused about.
And then that allows them to know what to do next. Coaching is a great it’s a great way to have someone on the journey with you, and then it makes the journey kind of less scary and more fun.
Peter: Welcome to the Biz and Life Done Well podcast, where we explore what it means and what it takes to do business and life well. I’m your host, Peter Wilson. If you’re like me, you’re intrigued by stories of common people who have achieved uncommon success in business and life. Join me as I interview fascinating people about how they got started, their successes and failures, their habits and routines, and what inspires them. Today my guest is Anne Gehring.
She is a leadership and personal coach. She’s also a friend and full disclosure, I’ve also worked with her. She was a coach of mine with respect to, some work I was doing.
Anne: Hi Peter, thanks for having me.
Peter: So why do people come to you for leadership and personal coaching?
Anne: I coach people who are in transition or who wanna be. So I think coaching is, my coaching, is it’s really about capitalizing on the opportunity that change presents.
Peter: Mhmm.
Anne: And so sometimes we’re forced into changes. Like I think about in my own life, just moving because of my husband’s career and things like that, where you’re forced to change and it’s daunting and it is also an opportunity to get really clear about what you care about because you’re gonna change anyway. So let’s make the next phase better.
Peter: Got it.
Anne: So sometimes we have situations like that and then sometimes we’re just in a state where we realize that we’re just not satisfied. We’re kind of vaguely unhappy or just kind of like, And that is another reason because when you feeling, well when I feel like that, what I think is what do I need to make different in my life so that I feel more energized? And so both of those kinds of things can be going on with my client.
Peter: What does that process look like?
Anne: So very, just very like kind of like surface level. Yeah. Kind of what is the process?
Peter: Like how do people get started?
Anne: My first session with a client once they’ve decided to coach with me is to get clear about their goals. And so I have this kind of long questionnaire that I used when I was being coached and I enjoyed the process. And so I give it to my clients hoping that they will also enjoy the process. And it’s just it kind of gets you to look back on your life and think about some peak experiences and different things like that. And then kind of after you’ve done that, which I think is really great because it kind of gets you to cast your net wide.
Mhmm. Then it says what do you want from me? Like what do you wanna do in coaching? Mhmm. And and I think that starting wide and then getting specific is a great way to begin.
So that’s kind of the first session. And then after that, so from that session, we’re abstracting like what are the values? What values are, what are the things that are important to this person? And what do they want from coaching? And am I understanding, do we understand the same things?
And that just kind of sits always in my mind when I’m coaching someone is this is kind of the long term goal. And then every session is, it kind of follows the same format, which is just kind of a Is there anything you want to say about your state today? What have you learned about your vision since last time we met? Every session as you know ends with homework. And so how’d the homework go?
And then what do you want to talk about today? And so we can go through those at any kind of rate that the client wants to make, you know, what makes sense to them and what they want to get out of the hour. And then I meet with clients like every two weeks and I feel like, you know, sometimes we have to, you know, travel whatever things come up, but every two weeks is a great amount of time because people remember their homework and they’re a little bit worried they’re gonna meet with me. Oh my gosh. You know, have to get it done.
And it keeps the relationship warm. Like if you just stretch it out and stretch it out you know then it’s kind of like I don’t know it just kind of like and then also I think everybody kind of loses interest in the homework you know. So like if you just keep it moving along the client moves along and that’s compelling to them and to me.
Peter: Right. And if it was and there wasn’t homework every I mean if it was every week that might feel a little monotonous or a lot of us in our busy schedules can’t necessarily squeeze that in every day.
Anne: Exactly. Like that’s what I think happens is just you don’t get to it. But if in two weeks people usually get to it. Yeah. This is one of the reasons that I love coaching because it really supports action.
And it’s not just about understanding why you’re in the situation that you’re in. It’s really what do I want for myself and what am I gonna do to make it happen? You know so you’re just and it just little bite sized pieces and pretty soon you’re like off you go.
Peter: I do have a funny story. One of the things that we talked about was my business and you were helping me with some goal setting And I’ll never forget, we talked about this goal of, you know, well, you help businesses win, so what does that look like? And, you know, I was talking about, well, I mean, that looks like in the next five years, maybe helping a thousand businesses. I’m thinking and the homework was to come up with some very specific, goals. And I I remember writing it on the page, and I put down a number of thousand on my page.
I was like, you know what? I don’t think that’s enough. So I I added a zero. I’m like, well, there’s an easy way to do it. Just like I thought, wow.
Okay. So how are we gonna do that? Well, what does helping look like? And I decided that the process of putting out the podcasts, articles that we put out, that if I’m able to actually educate somebody and they can take some, you know, some positive action, that that’s helping them. And then we ended up writing this article that had to do with some scam that businesses were being scammed with.
And this was probably a month after you and I spoke. I wrote the article and then it went viral. And so far about 30,000 business owners have read it. I’ve gotten emails, phone calls, and comments from people, like, thanking me. So it was it was kinda cool.
But what was really cool about the the process was just thinking about what feeling was missing, like really being able to help a lot of businesses. For what I do, I felt like that was really important. And then actually taking the step of writing it down, I had no idea how it was gonna happen. And then next thing you know, it kinda happened.
Anne: Yeah. Well, actually, I love that story because it shows like the goal is like scary but it’s also compelling. So it changed your energy. Yeah. From just kinda like, oh yeah, wanna do you know, like, to like like it woke you up.
Peter: Right. I do wanna ask though about you. How did you get into this and and why?
Anne: I I actually I see my own path. I mean, I think when we look back, like, everything makes sense, but I see my own path has actually been pretty consistent since I was young, actually. I have a PhD in developmental psych and I actually always loved adult development. So I began my career in academia. And what I really loved more than research was teaching and and just my students and their watching them, you know, because I I feel very lucky that I taught psychology because I think I always had the sense like you pay attention, you can change your life.
You know, like this is good stuff. So up to you, you know?
Peter: Right.
Anne: But I loved it. And so then when I had one of these career changes that was thrust upon me, I was thinking, well, what else can I do where I could have like a really portable career? And so I thought about what do I love and I ended up pursuing like corporate training. And so I’ve actually spent most of my life working for a large healthcare organization in their learning and organizational development department. And in that work, we did leadership development where we designed and delivered programs and we also did executive coaching.
Mhmm. And it was a great combination because in like, we’d have all these people and that we we had tons of leadership programs. And we’d have all these people and you develop a lot of trust with them because, you know, they see you over time and you’re believable and useful. And then they would call us for consulting or coaching or whatever and usually they would want me to do like some team building thing and I would be like well, I can come in for an hour, know, but I don’t think that’s gonna change your life. I think what you really need is coaching because how you are as a leader with people, that is a lever, you know?
And so I always loved coaching. But it, and I wanted to get certified, but I, but it really requires a time commitment. And so then another job change was thrust upon me. And so I went and I had the opportunity to live in India for a couple years because my husband took an overseas job. And during that time, I got certified as a coach through Leadership That Works and it’s called Coaching for Transformation.
And it was based in New York and in Mumbai. And it was a great program. And so anyway, so I got certified in India and then we came back suddenly because of the pandemic. Yeah. And I was like, well, I guess I’ll open my own business.
Peter: Got it.
Anne: So that’s how I came to be in this work. And I love coaching because I mean it’s just satisfying for me because I can really see the change in people. It’s so custom. It’s like what what do you need?
Peter: Mhmm.
Anne: And how can I help you get that?
Peter: Right.
Anne: You know? And and I just I love that. I really like being of use.
Peter: At the end of the day, we gotta do it ourselves.
Anne: Yes. Yeah. For sure. Absolutely. I think, yeah, it’s interesting to think like what what is it that the coach does because the client, like the coach in the end, like the success belongs to the client because they’re the ones
Peter: sure
Anne: that are doing the heavy lifting to make whatever happen.
Peter: Right.
Anne: You know so it’s all just about listening to people really and hearing and trying to reflect back having them listen to themselves about what they care about most so that then they can take steps to get it. And that’s the other thing that coaching does. So it’s about getting clarity around that vision which you just talked about. But it’s also about taking steps towards it every time Right. We meet.
Like what, you know, this is what I’m gonna do. Okay. What did did you do it? You know, like how did it go? This is what I’m gonna do.
How did it go? You know?
Peter: Right. They kinda have to have this itch. They don’t know how to scratch it kinda thing.
Anne: That’s yeah. I think I think a lot of times, yeah, that there is some goal Mhmm. Something that they want to achieve that has been eluding them. And a lot times a lot of times, you know, we we talked about earlier too, like, cause I coach younger adults as well as middle aged adults. And, you know, in some ways that I think there’s a lot of similar issues.
And and one of the one of the issues is kind of like, like when we’re making changes, it seems so big, right, that it’s scary to do anything. And so we just kinda like we’re kinda a little bit frozen. And so the, like, the homework, getting clear about your vision and doing the homework and having the support of a coach can help you move from like kind of that frozen place of I know I know this isn’t great
Peter: Right.
Anne: Or I want something different, but I just don’t know how to do it. I don’t know how to get started. Right. So it’s I think it helps people get started and it helps people
Peter: make That was probably the biggest thing for me was because I have these ideas but I’m not really good at you know, I have a lot of ideas but really picking the right ones to work on that wanna that help me get to my goals. So I think going through that process, I’m not the kind of person that takes a lot of time to introspect and write and think about things at that level. I’m more of a doer. Mhmm. So forcing me to have the conversation every two weeks.
Anne: Right? Yeah. It’s helpful.
Peter: I mean I discovered things just along the way as I’m talking to you and I feel like I’m just spitballing it and all of a sudden I’m like, wow. No. That’s exactly what I’ve been feeling and I just spoke it. One of the exercises that I really enjoyed that you, took me through was that future self exercise. Mhmm.
You wanna talk about that just a little bit and kind of the power of that?
Anne: Yeah. I I talk a lot about future self to people and there’s different ways to do it. Think with you, didn’t we do a like you were interviewing your future self? Yeah. I thought I thought that would resonate for you.
There is such power in visualizing, really trying to see our future selves.
Peter: Mhmm.
Anne: Right? Getting clear. Because again, we were talking about this prior to beginning too. Like there’s so many things that we leave unclear. Like and I think visioning is one.
Like how many people actually sit down and like think about what do I want in my life? What would success look like? You know? And of course that answer’s gonna change over time. Sure.
But when you do that and you can like really feel this future self, it pulls you forward. When when I did it, like I’ve told a number of my clients, was kind of funny what my coach asked me or the question that stood out to me is what are you wearing?
Peter: Oh, okay.
Anne: Right? Because what you wear is actually very symbolic about who you are. Sure. And and I don’t know if you’ve noticed my how my fashion sense has changed pre and post India. But I used to be very monochromatic and very like I would say tailored.
And my future self wore flowy clothes with saturated colors and I love saturated colors. And so now when I dress like that, I’m like this is me being my future self. This is me stepping into the future that I want that has color and flow. Yeah and I love that And I want my clients to feel their future self because the future self lives in you. Right?
And it’s pulling you forward.
Peter: Is there a typical length of time you
Anne: work? I I would guess, honestly, five to six months. But I I ask people to sign a three month contract. Not that I would ever hold people to that. Sure.
But I I want to do work over time. Like like, because that that is how people learn things.
Peter: You want some skin in the game.
Anne: So that so it’s really just an intention to work together over time. And then so kind of given their goals, we’re just waiting until like if you think about like we’ll go back to future self and present self. Right? So there’s there’s a future self and there’s a present self and they’re kind of standing side by side. And it’s kind of as those things kind of come together
Peter: Mhmm.
Anne: Or as the path is, like, super clear and they’re walking, like, you just feel like I think the work is done for now.
Peter: Mhmm.
Anne: Like because because they’re merged or because they’re clearly on the path that they wanna be on and they feel good about it. Mhmm. And I feel good about it. Like I can feel it. That was our experience.
It was just kind of like, oh, I think we’re done.
Peter: So in some respects, it’s going from, yeah, I wanna go climb a big mountain to, I see the mountain, I see the trail.
Anne: Yes.
Peter: And I’m walking on that trail.
Anne: Yes. The other thing that I think about is, like, sometimes it just feels lonely, like, the journey that we’re on. Mhmm. You know? And and I think it doesn’t have to be that way.
Coaching is a great it’s a great way to have someone on the journey with you and then it makes the journey kind of less scary and more fun. Mhmm. So that’s one thing. Mhmm. What do you think?
Peter: I yeah. I totally get it. Even I mean, when you say lonely, what’s interesting is like as a business owner, I’ve discovered that I’m not working in this big corporation where there’s this team and I mean I have a small team but I don’t have peers.
Anne: Yeah. You
Peter: know? Because I’m and when I was working in the you know corporate space I had peers that I would interact with and
Anne: Mhmm.
Peter: I would have leaders, my managers, people who were managing me or and things like that. And so, yeah, I get at least as a as a business owner, I definitely sense that loneliness. And it’s not that you’re, you don’t have relationships. I mean, have great relationships with my kids, my wife, all that. I don’t think that’s the kind of loneliness you’re talking about.
Some of this, for whatever reason, we don’t talk about this or really have the tools to relate this with like our spouse or, you know. Mhmm.
Anne: I think that’s a great example because I think leaders of all sorts, whether whether it’s a business, whether you’re running a business for yourself and you are or or you’re just leading in a large corporation. Sure. Like I think it can also be lonely because you’re
Peter: Yeah.
Anne: You’re there’s a lot to pay attention to. You’re, you know, depending on how political it is, you know, can you talk to about this, like as you’re just trying to sort things out. And again, like the value, one of the things is that coaching is really not about giving advice. I know you can attest to this. Oh yeah, It’s for really a vehicle for helping the clients hear themselves.
Yeah. And as they listen to themselves, they become clear about what they want, they become clear about what they’re confused about, and then that allows them to know what to do next. Like, they know. And that’s the most important thing. It’s not like I don’t know.
I’m not living their life.
Peter: Well, and as a leader, all eyes are on you. Yeah. Everybody expects you to have the answers and it’s not the case.
Anne: Yeah. But sometimes you can come to the answers, right?
Peter: Oh yeah.
Anne: If you take the time to like, I’m just gonna take the time to like think this through and think about what do I care about and how do I want to lead and
Peter: Right. Yeah. Is there an example of maybe a person or two you want to share with us?
Anne: So I would say like kind of back to those like kind of themes that I see in people and that you have talked about for yourself is kind of, it’s about not being clear with ourselves about what we want. And it’s either because we don’t want to admit it, what we want. I think we all have fear of being seen, right? And like really going for the thing you want because it would be so painful if you don’t get it. And so I think that’s a theme with a lot of my clients is really helping them see what they want and then helping them find the tools that allow them to be brave in the face of their vision.
Peter: Well put. So if you’d like to find out more about Ann Gehring and what she does, probably the best way, she mentioned going to her website. It’s Anne with an e, a n n e, Gehring, that would be like the word caring, but with a g, Gehring, coaching.com. So annegehringcoaching.com.
Anne: Yeah. So if you’re just interested in exploring or hearing more, you know, this is the thing that I kind of want. Are you the right person? I give a free complimentary one hour consultation that will probably include coaching in it so that you can feel it. Because that’s what in some ways I think that’s the best way to decide if it is for you.
Like just to feel the coaching and say, would this help me? Because I think that’s how I ended up with you.
Peter: Yes.
Anne: You were like, I want this. Right. Yeah. Right. So so go to my website.
There’s a contact form and if you fill that out, I’ll reach out to you.
Peter: Great. Well, Anne, thank you so much for sharing today.
Anne: Thank you, Peter. I appreciate it being on the show.
Peter: Thanks for listening to this episode of Biz and Life Done Well with Peter Wilson. You can subscribe to us on iTunes, Google Podcasts, Spotify, and most of the other popular podcast platforms. Please tell your friends about us and leave us a review so even more people will find out about us. Thanks again. We’ll see you soon.
