119: 12 Principles to Quietly Stand Out with Author Michael Thompson

Title: 12 Principles to Quietly Stand Out with Author Michael Thompson

Guest: Michael Thompson

Today, my guest is Michael Thompson. He is a career coach, a leadership lecturer at a master’s program in Spain, communication strategists. And as of 2024, he is an author. He wrote a book shy by design 12 timeless principles to quietly stand out.

And I’m just so pleased to have you with us today, Michael. Thanks. Thank you, Peter. It’s really great to get to know you and I’m excited to dig in. , when did The book come out? It came out July 16th in the U. S. and it just came out this, like the hardcover came out in the UK and Europe, uh, four days ago.

Awesome. So Shy by Design, talks about your personal journey what motivated you to write this book?

So I grew up, um, shy. And stuttering, and I moved around a lot for my dad’s job in the Air Force. So I kind of perpetually felt out of place. I was that kid who had to stand up in front of the class. The teacher [00:01:00] said, please introduce yourself. And I froze. I felt I got picked on in high school by teachers.

Um, so I kind of always had a, Yeah, it just felt kind of like I didn’t belong anywhere. And after college, my buddies were all like going out into the world and getting jobs and going on vacations. And I was bar backing in Baltimore. And as a personal challenge, I pursued a sales job as kind of a Mount Everest.

And I found a place that was kind of dumb enough to hire me. And I got really lucky. The first 90 days on the job were rough. Like I got hung up on, I actually hung up on people just because I stutter on M’s still. And my name’s Michael and I was selling mortgages. So it’s something that I kind of had to enunciate a million times.

So I got more than the client telemarketing type job. It was mortgage sales. So we were like, this was, uh, Pre boom. Um, so I got in at a good time and probably around the 90 day mark. I kind of hit my [00:02:00] stride and I stopped trying to be like the more extroverted and charismatic people in the office. I realized that there was a lot of people in the office who were shy, uh, introverted and reserve the top salesperson.

Person in the office was kind of socially awkward, but he was great at listening. He took great notes. He was focused. He wanted the best for his clients and he stood out. And so kind of some things happened that my eyes opened that, Hey, maybe like I’m okay here and it’s funny. I would, my big break was I went to a sales conference and a Zig Ziglar type.

Said something towards the end of his talk, like, Hey, and remember, if you can’t get someone to talk to you, start stuttering, they’ll see as a human being, instead of a salesperson, my team. And I like, we all erupted, like, I was like, I know how to stutter. And like that kind of just confidence boost of like, Hey, maybe I do belong here and I’m okay, and I have strengths that I’ve hidden, like underneath my week, my perceived weaknesses that I need to kind of, [00:03:00] Like uncover and unearth.

Um, and so that was my start in the world. And like most people, like, I took my newfound confidence. I got promoted to the management team within about 18 months or so. Top 10 in the company, corporate trainer. And I took my confidence and money I made in that job, went to Central America, right. When the financial crisis hit business partners, dad stole.

He changed the deeds of my properties sold about from under me. Um, so I went back down a couple of years later after I sat in a bar in Pennsylvania, I got on a plane to Barcelona and my shoulders dropped. I focused again and I started to teach English, got work, uh, doing presentation seminars, met, met my wife doing that and that steamrolled into helping like other people who lack.

Confidence to speak at like to own their story and voice. That’s a lot of the work I do at the university. And I also help like CEOs, like [00:04:00] C C C C suite types to write their books. Um, so I’m kind of hopping in and out of a lot of things. Nice. So that, so, um, and you have looked at the. Yeah, obviously, there’s a lot of books out there, but you, um, you, you found that, um, this, you wanted to tell your story, obviously, in the hopes that it’s going to help some others, um, along the way as well.

And, um, so I’m just curious, um, was there a moment. In your recent past or when, when did you, when did you have that decision? Like, okay, I need to write this down. All right. So that’s a, yeah, sorry. I think you asked that in the beginning and a little bit of a backstory. No, no, no. Don’t worry. I’m good at coming back with the context.

Yeah. The, the, um, so the, there were two. Three things I [00:05:00] started to write when I was 38. So about 8 years ago, and I quickly realized that I should have started to write earlier. Um, my I’m my best communicate and writing. So I punished myself for 15 years in sales. And I’m glad I did because I have stories to tell and I’ve experiences.

I’ve had to give presentations, interviews, workshops, um, but the big moment was, you know, With my first shot, like my first son, he’s shy. He stutters. Um, my dad during COVID got cancer and like right when I signed the book deal and I was kind of frozen. Like, this seems insignificant in the grand scheme of things.

And like, and he had said, he was like, well, I’m going to write my, my book deal. Like legacy book, you write your book, um, and I want you to keep at it. So it’s just one of those things. It kind of feels like my first mountain book in a way. So I’m 46, like looking back, I want my kids to know that they’re already cool.

There’s a lot of ways to go from A to B in the world, um, popularity and [00:06:00] stuff in high school, it kind of, we carry what we think is cool or great or confident or through what we like the level that we set in high school, like a lot of us, I keep that image through life. And life changes. And at 40, I don’t care if someone’s charismatic.

I want them to listen and care. And it’s just kind of like, sometimes the loud is kind of annoying. Like I like quiet now, you know? So it’s kind of the combination of things where it’s like, this is my time to do it. Um, and family stuff. Like it’s usually the driver is like a personal reason for me. It’s a wine that I can’t write a book just because I need to write a book.

Like, uh, it’s like, I have to want it. Yeah, so you had this internal fire plus your dad, obviously inspiring you. Yeah. So, um, so just curious, how is your dad? He’s good. He’s had, like, we’ve had a couple of phone calls where he’s like, I’ve been told that this is it. And he keeps beating it. Um, he’s coming here in two weeks for the first time in five years.

So he got like, he was trying [00:07:00] to go into the hospital, right. When COVID hit saying I’m losing weight, like, and they thought it was just COVID or languishing, like the typical words, like an after six months, he had lost like 25 pounds and that happened to what, like he’d, um, so like we went back for Christmas this past year for the first time.

And we got COVID the day we landed. So we spent Christmas in the basement. We didn’t see my parents by my youngest is six. So my parents, my dad just got the clear. He’s been taking all these immunity shots for COVID and other things. And they’re coming here in two weeks. So fingers crossed. I’m glad to hear that.

Yeah, that’s cool. It’s a very weird place though, of that, of not being able to do it. Like you can’t go home. You can’t. It was a weird place to navigate. Yeah, it’s like you get news and you want to get on a plane and then you’re like, well, I can’t get on a plane. So we’ve had some good talks over zoom and skype, but it will be pretty good to see them.

That’s great. So, um, so with [00:08:00] respect to the book itself, um, and. Like what I would expect to, um, you know, get out of the book. What, what are some points that you hope folks get out of the book? Um, I think the big thing is just to question everything in the beginning, the underlying. Current of the book is like, it’s kind of a book.

It’s not a book from good to great. It’s more from bad to not awful. Like it serves as a spark to put yourself out into the world. Yeah. There’s more expert how to communicate in a negotiation. Um, this is for me at 21. 25 or even 30? There’s a lot of people I speak with who are 50 who are like I need this now.

Yeah, just to kind of question everything and how the world operates. Like, like I like alluded to previously it’s I accepted to The world I was born into and I didn’t question anything. My dad’s environment was like, he’s a great guy, but I was surrounded by people [00:09:00] who are like shoulders back, head high, shake someone’s hand and break it.

And I was the opposite of that. And I put on a mask. I tried to be that, that person. And it just didn’t work. Um, like it, it was those experiences in sales that made me question like, Hey, maybe there’s different ways to do this. Looking back, I would probably rename the book. Like everything I learned about social, Skills growing up was wrong.

Like I don’t, like I stand to the side. I don’t get in front of someone. I don’t try to leave an amazing first impression. Like I try to have it as a quick interaction, like upbeat, let someone go on their way, um, and follow up with a nice thought, like it was like a recommendation of a book. Like these small steps that we take is what builds relationships.

And I got caught up in the game where I thought that I had to like, Perform to impress people. And that sounds, sometimes you do have to do that. If you’re in front of a VC, you’re interviewing for a prison guard job. You need to be a little bit more [00:10:00] confident. And a lot of people, it’s just the warmth, caring, being curious, like asking a few questions and showing some way in the future, you were paying attention and listening to them.

So it’s, it, in some respects, it’s, uh, The, it’s not about you as the performer, it’s about, um, the person you’re interacting with. So you’re focusing on them, not you in a lot of, and most people feel more comfortable. Talking about themselves or at least relating something about themselves, right? So it’s, it’s like, uh, uh, I don’t, are you familiar with Donald Miller and story brand building a story brand?

And, you know, the big takeaway from that one is, uh, and we do this all the time in our marketing business, talking to companies about their story. And it’s, um, the core, the core message from Miller is it’s not about you. As a company, right? It’s, it’s, you’re not the hero in the story. [00:11:00] I guess it’s your, your client, your customer, the person you’re interacting with is, is the hero.

And if you use cues and language that is trying to position you as the hero, rather than the person you’re interacting with, you know, it’s a great way to get, like, get shut off. Yeah. Yeah. It’s absolutely right. Like, like, There’s a part in the first chapter of my book where it’s like choose comfort over confidence and it’s something like put myself at ease So i’ll find social environments where i’m comfortable.

I like one on one I like sitting at a bar and speaking to a bartender because they’re paid to get to know people and they know a lot of people And the second part of that is Putting other people at ease. Um, and there’s a great tip from, um, Rob, Rob, Robin Drake, who wrote the book. It’s not, um, it’s not about me.

Okay. Um, he was the, this is a mouthful and I’m going to get his title wrong. He’s the former counter intelligence [00:12:00] behavioral FBI. Okay. Um, and he’s a really fascinating guy and he has a tip from like a book from 15 years ago. Where it’s like the key to a great first interaction is to let people know that it’s going to be over really quickly.

So if you go up to someone and say, like, I got to be somewhere in two minutes, but I got to pick up my wife in five minutes, but I got to get my kids at school and I’m running late, but the book you’re holding caught my eye. That’s just immediate. Like, you know, like you, Like for me, if I’m approached on the street, like I’m like, but like as human beings, we’re like, our guard goes straight up and we’re like, is this a threat?

Like, is this person here to, uh, uh, hurt, hurt me or help me in that little sentence of saying, like, I’m not going to take up much of your time immediately. You see the shoulders drop and that leads to a really fast, positive interaction. Like one question, be curious, follow up a little bit. I usually drip something about [00:13:00] myself into that, like wife, kids.

I have to get to a lecture at a university, just because if you’d share a little bit about yourself, it helps for other people to open up and open a little bit of a story loop is as well. Yeah. Like, I usually that’s my job at university as I have students from. Last class was 50 students from 38 countries, and a lot of them are from like, Beirut, Lebanon, Syria, um, Columbia, Bolivia, and a lot of them don’t think that they have stories to sell, like, to tell, and that they have an uphill battle, and my job, like, I start my leadership of saying I grew up stuttering, and I’m scared to be talking in front of you guys, and like, the point is not for me to stand up here and lecture you.

It’s for us. To uncover some of the strengths we do have that we don’t see and ask them questions, dig in and help them shape their own story. Yeah, 1 thing I’ve noticed, uh, in interacting with a lot of people, and I just sort of [00:14:00] took it for granted for a long time, and I never really heard this feedback until recently was that some people I interact with where 2nd language.

They are very self conscious. About, um, the way they may sound or the way they, the way they feel they’re butchering the language. And I didn’t even, I didn’t even have a clue that, um, you know, people felt that way. And I was like, wow, that is interesting feedback. So I need to take, especially if I’m dealing with a client that maybe is, uh, you know, English as a second language, because I’m not speaking their language.

Native language, right? I’m going to speak in English, um, or maybe some, you know, very broken Spanish or something, but, um, that means that I really need to make go like the extra effort to make them feel at ease. So, and I [00:15:00] just discovered that recently in some interactions I had with, um, some. People in the U S that were originally from France.

So I just wrote an article on how to put people like the leadership quality. It’s not talked about a lot, but the ability to like immediately put people at ease for me is massive. Um, like, and I’m in Spain and I work in English, but like on the street, it’s in Spanish and Catalan. Um, Like, and I have to be very cautious, like I’m American.

I like, I like, like for someone who stutters, I talk fast if I’m like excited about something. And, um, I have to tone it down, like immediately speak slower, shorter sentences, easier words. Um, and I think that’s actually like really helped with my writing just because I always get feedback where it’s like massively clear for someone who’s not.

A perfect English speaker, so it’s rubbed off on me and communication ways like is speaking at a university with students. Half of them are probably [00:16:00] native English speakers. Half of them aren’t. So I have to slow my role and and that’s how my communication skills in general, just to slow down. Think before I speak.

How should I say this? Prepare for it? Um, I think it’s a nice thing. Like it’s a nice thing when I see the deer and headlights of students or someone on the street, like I’m talking way too fast. You can see it that they’re just like, uh, huh. Uh, huh. And they’re thinking, I have no idea. Yeah, same with me in Spanish.

So the first part of the book. Yeah, we do talk about, um, part one persistently curious. I think that’s, um. Yeah, that’s that’s taking a genuine interest in others where they’re coming from. Um, and, um, what’s interesting is your third principle is treat your curiosity as your primary responsibility. So what do you mean by that?

So it’s kind of a double edged, like the comfort thing, where it’s be curious, like in your curiosities, like what interests you and be curious in others. Um, so. My dad, actually the [00:17:00] day, maybe 10 years ago, it was a defining moment in my career. Um, I was in Costa Rica, had problems with the lawsuit of the house problem.

And my dad flew down to tell me that my mom had cancer. Um, so he came down in person. I was like, and we sat up in the hotel room, like on opposite sides of the bed talking about life and what it means to leave a good one. And he said something that shook me to my core. I said, the saddest part about getting older for me is seeing how intellectually dead some of my old friends have chosen to become.

And he used the words chosen. He used like intellectually dead, like petrifying, like, like I’ve never heard a worse warning on how to waste your life. Yeah. Um, like, and that was a, that sent me on a, like a, Not a mission, but I’m doing work now. I’m like, I started to write, I started to teach at universities.

Like I started to work with clients all around the world and like, and [00:18:00] design social innovation and like the fields I was interested in. Um, So that was like curiosity for me. It kind of all stems there for community, for connection, for like, if you need courage conviction, it’s like, what are you curious at?

Like, if you’re not curious in the thing that you’re chasing, you’re not going to push yourself. Um, if you’re not curious in front of the person you’re speaking with, like it’s going to be hard to build a connection. If you’re not curious in your own interests, your day to day life, like isn’t going to be as exciting.

So I try to map my life around the things I’m curious in. And it took some time. Like my wife and I would like, we started a family like right when I did this change and we weren’t making any money. I was working from home watching a kid. Um, But just kind of over time, I got lucky in the sense where I kept pushing it and these dominoes of the things I’m really interested in this people is art is making is teaching like all of these things I get to do now in various areas, um, [00:19:00] but curiosity is just like the backbone of living like life is learning, you know, so it’s kind of the, the foundation.

You know, it’s funny you mentioned that because I need to relate a story I, I mentioned before we started the podcast that I had, um, had the opportunity to start a, uh, an internet company with another gentleman to make websites for car dealers in 1994. The way that I got into that was, I was, um, working in, uh, Europe, and I had a laptop and I was looking for ways to communicate and connect.

While I was traveling and I started using modems on my laptop and like dialing into bulletin boards and Things like that. So I kind of had this passion for Communicating and then around 1992 1993 wired magazine came out and Talked about, and I remember seeing it on the bookshelf on the, in the magazine rack, and I was [00:20:00] like, Oh my God, what is this grabbed it, devoured that copy and just started learning about the internet and just became just passionately interested in it and.

Um, figured out a way to dial into our local library. They, they didn’t have a web, they had like gopher, which was like text only. It’s like a web browser, but it’s text only started doing that. And then the company I was working for at the time, uh, went bankrupt. So I was. Out of a job and, um, this was like in July or something like that.

And I told my wife at the time she was working in banking. She had a good job and I was like, and this is before we had kids. They said, I, this is what I want to do. This is what I want to do. I don’t know how I’m going to do it, but this is what I want to do. And I just started reaching out. And one day an email popped into my inbox.

And, [00:21:00] um, somebody in Texas had sent this local car dealer my information and said, Hey, this guy is in your local area. I think he’s interested in doing what you’re doing. You guys should get together. Well. Like the next day we got together and that was it. We, it was like gasoline and match. So we started the company 10 months later, we sold it for a lot of money.

So, but it was that just amazing passion that I had for that. I mean, I, I had, I was lucky that, that I, I found it and I was able to find. Um, you know, a way, an outlet for that passion. So, yeah, but it was, uh, and it was 100 percent curiosity driven. That was, I love those kind of outreach messages, though, to of saying, screw it.

I’m like, just one random email, how it can shape your life. The second part of my book is like, how I built my network from a small town in Spain by. Sending emails like, and [00:22:00] it’s funny how it, that stuff does, I think with the curiosity, like we’re like, we’re all curious and stuff, but the story that we tell ourselves of like, we can’t do that.

The next part two is meaningful connections. And I like your principle five, get to know your heroes. What, what, what’s the motivation behind that, uh, principle.

So the chapter, like I started to write. Um, when I was 38 and a year into it, I was like, I don’t want to do this alone. Um, and I began just reaching out to other writers and the easy step for me was a lot of writers, like vegans, they’ll say that they’re shy. Like, you know, it’s kind of, uh, um, so I started with the shy ones.

It was like, Hey, can like, uh, like a very quick email, I’d leave a couple of comments on their articles on medium, um, or LinkedIn, And we’d get on calls and slowly, but surely, like a lot of them kept saying, it’s like, well, I’m like working from home now. I’m [00:23:00] lonely. Um, so like I got together the initial 10 people I spoke with and we got a little group together.

We turned that in to a mastermind group. So it was basically every week I was sending out an email to someone who just caught my eye, who I was interested in, who like, I liked the energy of the person, the story of the person. And like, I’d have a weekly call, like you’re due for a podcast, an hour conversation with somebody new.

And it’s amazing how those, those things started to like attract other possible opportunities. Like if I heard of a job, I’d pass it on to somebody in the group. Um, like, and over time, like my confidence got up like a little bit higher to kind of start to push who I was re uh, reaching out to. And so I started slow.

Um, And like, and over time it’s led me to working with leaders at IDEO and Apple and, and a professor at Harvard, like all of this from writing articles and sending out, Hey, I like what you’re [00:24:00] doing type emails. Um, or like the thing that worked best for me is just like, thank you. And the subject line, just cause a lot of inboxes are full of stuff that don’t say thank you.

Um, and then I think of like, thanks to you doing X, I’ve been able to do Y. Like, like next thing I think of this differently now where I was able to pass an interview, whatever it is, just kind of really quick in the beginning, they usually reply. I’d send them something. I like that. They would like, I think also, and then like a couple back and forth and we’d hop on a call.

Um, and when I get to know other successful people, my writing partner, a guy, I just helped with his book, uh, irreplaceable. Um, me. Yeah, he taught starting at age 28. He took a course at Harvard and the second day, the teacher asked him to teach the class with him on design and marketing and, and branding.

Like he’s just one of those guys. He’s one of those guys. Yeah. He gets it. And he’s very, he’s very good, but he started at age 14, sending handwritten [00:25:00] letters to authors, architects, actors, musicians. Um, and he, yeah, he does it every week, still handwritten. Um, yeah, I like it. Like I see that thread like a lot through the people who I work with.

Um, and a lot of people too, like I would talk myself out of not doing that, thinking like, Oh, I’m gonna get rejected. This person’s going to think I’m stupid. I’ve never once, nor have I spoken with anybody who’s received those types of messages, like sat and laughed at someone for taking a chance. Um, like, and even if you don’t reply, because you’re probably busy, like, you have kids.

So just the realization that, yeah, it’s like, it’s a great habit. You’ll hone your, your persuasion, your networking, your communication skills, while getting to know people who you find interesting. Um, yeah, and that kind of, and the more you speak with people. Kevin, the guy I worked with, he has a great line.

He’s like, some people experience all visiting the Grand Canyon or a [00:26:00] beach in Maui. For me, it’s watching ordinary people do ordinary things, like, just be in all of of human beings and it’s like, the more you get to know other people from different backgrounds, from different experiences, like, the more you just realize, like, Wow.

Humanity is pretty incredible. So I like to get to know your heroes and heroes is a weird word for me though. Like it’s not necessarily Steve Jobs. Um, like heroes for me today is a single mom who’s surviving, you know, like it changes. Like I’ve gotten older where I don’t want a Ferrari. I’m fine with a Volkswagen, but like, it’s the same of looking at human beings of, I have a friend here who took a raft from, uh, from, from Africa to Europe.

To start a new life. Wow. Like, you know, like he’d like, he works at a restaurant here. You wouldn’t like, you’d walk right by him. Um, so it’s just funness of being an all and thinking people are like endlessly fascinating. I love that. I love that. Um, [00:27:00] so you’ve got, um, principle seven. I’m just going to shoot through a few of the other principles here.

Small is the new big that, that really, uh, I’m interested in learning a little more about that. Yeah. It’s, um, right now I, I kind of feel it online too, like everyone’s friends, but no one’s connected. Um, so I think it’s more of a, like I had mastermind groups, but it’s funny that the first 10 connection, well, not just like all the first 10, but it’s like after the, like I had a group that ran up to about 50 people and I met a lot of creators, writers, um, And we collaborated on things for a couple of years, but I could kind of lean towards, like, it was clear that, like, I had my little group and, um, those bigger is not better.

No. Yeah. And it’s kind of the day to day support, like, of having 5 close friends for me, Trump’s going on LinkedIn and doing a bunch of outreaches are like kind of comments. Yeah. You feel like not stupid [00:28:00] leaving, but hey, great job. Just this small, like the incessant small talk, um, and working with five or six people, like my career is, is like, I have a couple of friends, a couple of clients who are my cheerleaders and my collaborators who are good at things.

I’m not good at. We have a lot of fun together. We fight like, I kind of feel like the people that you want to work with are the ones who you can happily fight with. And, um, the thing is, is with my collaboration friends with the small group, I do have a moving fast on books or branding projects, whatever it is, is I’m not the best starter.

I’m bad at a blank page. I’m a good developer. And I have friends who are great finishers. Like, I’m bad at the final details, the tuning up, so, like, if somebody is good with getting crap on a page, I love that. Like, give me bad stuff. Um, like, and I’ll hop in and get it moving. So, it’s funny, like, just a couple people can move things, especially [00:29:00] in today’s age, you don’t need a massive team.

Um, and if you have a couple of people who you really get along with, like I have friends, I’ve never met him in person, like we’ve been working together for seven years on projects ranging from books to branding, to, to our own books and companies, and it’s filling in the blind spots and the weak spots of each of us.

That’s uh, I, I love that. That’s, um, um, I’m going to sign up for that. I need more of that, uh, in my life because I can, I can relate to the, uh, um, the fact, I mean, I’ve got a company, I’ve got a team. Uh, we’re small, we’re less than 10 people, but, um, we’re really tight, uh, we’re 100 percent virtual, but, um, you know, I could, I could definitely see the possibilities there.

And so I, I think, uh, that’s, uh, that’s good. Um, good advice. Very good advice. Um, so I want to move back, uh, move down. Sorry, port 3. So, so the books kind of divided into [00:30:00] 3 sections here. So that’s meaningful connections. And, um, obviously it, it means a lot to you and you’ve definitely, um, you know, kind of created a little bit of a roadmap here.

I like that. Yeah, it’s true. The thing, like I have my core, but I do like, I have my weekly phone calls with someone new and generally it started as writers and now it’s anybody who I think is interesting, like, and that allows the weak tie connections to kind of play some of my best friends. We, we, we run in the same circle.

Um, so we’re hearing. The same ideas, the same opportunities. So my weekly calls with random people and checking in with those people once every 90 days, 180 days of a voice message saying, Hey, I was thinking about you. Those are sometimes the things that they don’t know me well enough. So they, they’ll still refer me.

So it’s kind of the, the thing of, of having your core while learning from Like life experiences around [00:31:00] you. So, um, and then the final part of your book is, uh, you call it a quiet, quiet conviction. And, um, you’ve got kind of your last principle here is lift as you climb. What does that mean? So that, yeah, it’s like, wow, you’re going after your own goals, look behind.

Um, so I think a lot of people look ahead of, I want to be like this person or I want. To achieve this thing out in front of me and meaning and fulfillment at work for me and for most people I know is helping the people who are a step behind you to rise above you so you can kind of all climb like you lift as you’re climbing up a ladder.

I think like anything good in my life, feeling like emotion at work, the stuff I remember is when somebody took an interest in me when they didn’t have to. And like, I had a got, so I started to write, there’s a story in [00:32:00] the book and I was on a secret WordPress site, like, I didn’t, It was like I was too scared to share it and I left a comment on a guy’s blog in Barcelona who’s kind of like the Gary Vaynerchuk in Barcelona, but very cool and not Gary Van.

Like he wears a suit like he’s but known, you know, doesn’t drop as many F-bombs that Yeah, he’s a real, like the guy’s name is con. Connor Neal, and he has a great YouTube channel on leadership, communication stuff, and just a really good guy. Um, so I was leaving a comment on his blog, like, and we met for breakfast and I completely bombed it.

I just had a kid. I was exhausted. I forgot my wallet. I asked him to breakfast. I think at one point I even said to him, like, how do you live with your wife after he told me a story about her? Um, just a bad day. And I got home, my wife put my smiling baby on. My lap and I cried saying I’m never gonna hear from that guy again and Two months later, I published something on WordPress and he saw it, like, and he left a comment.

[00:33:00] This is good. Like a month afterwards, this one’s great. And he helped me to get that into fast company. Um, and I don’t know if I would have had the courage to publish, like if he hadn’t taken the time to go out of his way, he’s a busy guy. So that’s kind of those things where you don’t know how to expect, like it’s hard to describe the feeling of when somebody helps you who doesn’t have to help you, but you feel it a lot.

Yeah. Um, yeah. So I try to do that. Like in my work, I’m trying to pass down. I’m trying to lift up other people and I can get like I’m in a position now is like I can get the things I want. Like I don’t want a crazy life. I have a nice small apartment in Spain. Like we live light. Um, so I’m not looking for much.

And what gets me fulfillment is doing what that guy did for me. That’s nice. Um, so we’ve covered a lot of ground here. I, I, um, I can’t wait. I’ve, I’ve gone through the book, but I, I need to spend more time going through everything. Uh, I think you’ve written a great book here. [00:34:00] And, um, as we wrap up here, a couple questions I have for you.

First of all, if, if, uh, somebody wants to, uh. Well, first of all, if somebody wants to buy the book, um, where do they get the book? You can get it on any of the major retailers. It’s on Amazon. It’s on Barnes and Noble. Um, so it’s shy by design, 12 timeless principles to quietly stand out my website, Michael Thompson dot art like artist.

There’s a lot of Michael Thompson’s so I went with the art one. Um, that has a look like it has a book page. It has the links to five or six. Of the major online retailers. Um, that’s just the easiest way is Amazon. It seems just Amazon. Is there a contact, um, what, what sorts of engagements are you, uh, are you open to if somebody wants to, uh, connect, is it LinkedIn or what do you recommend for, uh, people connecting with you?

I think the easiest way is through my website or LinkedIn, just because the [00:35:00] con the, the message function is the easiest. My LinkedIn, I, my name is not easy. So it’s Michael, like it’s Mike Thompson blog. So like linkedin. com slash Mike Thompson blog, and I’m active on medium sub stack. My sub stack is shy by design.

I just started there and I’m really enjoying it. Um, But generally, if you can find a book that’s shy by design, there should be links to where you can find me, um, that isn’t a website for like a former Lakers basketball player or a photographer in Virginia. I should have used my middle name. Like looking back I should have had everything like Michael Ryan Thompson or.

Great. Well, I’ve really enjoyed this conversation, Michael, and, uh, look forward to, uh, following you and, um, digging in a lot deeper to your work. And, uh, thank you. Thank you for joining me all the way from Spain today. Uh, it’s been a lot of fun and enjoy your trip to Scandinavia. And I hope to be in contact sooner than [00:36:00] later, Peter.

Thank you. Thank you. Cheers.